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How To Watch Porn At Work

Harris Interactive conducted a poll on employee’s online video habits at work. While workers are consuming your standard news clips and viral videos, the poll found that 3% of people are watching porn at work.

That statistic begs a few questions. Who is this wild minority? Why are they indulging in behavior like this? Perhaps most interestingly — how do they do it?

We did some “research” to figure it out. Here’s our advice on how to watch porn at work and get away with it.

Mask your IP address.

Use a free proxy service like HideMyAss.com to conceal your identity and location as you browse around.

Use alt-tab to switch back and forth between programs quickly.

The alt-tab shortcut in Windows and command-tab shortcut in OS X lets you switch between whatever programs you’re using very quickly and seamlessly. Use it to bury your dirty stuff.

Use a smaller screen, like an iPhone.

The more discreet you can be, the better. Why not keep your business on a smaller screen that’s easier to hide?

Get a monitor cover that blocks the view.

A privacy screen is designed so that people walking by or looking at your screen at an angle will be unable to see anything, but for you sitting directly in front of it, your view is unaffected.

Use mirrors!

Arrange some mirrors in your office strategically to keep an eye on where passersby are. Get a rear view mirror for your monitor like this one from ThinkGeek.

Get a boss button.

A boss button is a cool foot-activated switch attached to your computer — when you trigger it, it hides whatever you’re doing and brings up a business-looking screen.

Use Vanishd.com

Vanishd.com is a service that lets you hide a webpage behind an Excel document that looks work-related. As you move your mouse over the document, a transparent window follows you, letting you see what’s underneath.

Use extra desktops!

Use VirtuaWin for Windows and Spaces for OS X. Put all your work in one desktop and put all your leisure materials in another. You can switch back and forth with a keystroke or mouse gesture.

If you can pick where you work every day, position yourself so that no one else can see you.

If you can pick where you work every day, position yourself so that no one else can see you.

Use a remote desktop utility to access your home computer.

You can remotely access your home computer with proper software. That way all your seedy browsing history never gets saved to your work computer. For OS X, we like Chicken of the VNC. For Windows, we like Tight VNC.

Use private browsing.

Firefox and Chrome have an option you can select that won’t record browsing history. See if your preferred browser has one.

If you use Firefox, you can turn on private browsing under the “tools” menu. In Chrome, you just need to open a “New incognito window.”

Empty your cache.

And do it often. You don’t want all that stuff to accumulate.

To do this in Firefox, select “clear recent history” from the “tools” menu.

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The ‘Magic Glove’ And 8 Other Ridiculous Inventions Patented By Apple

It seems like Apple gets a new patent every few days.

Just on Tuesday, it won patents for a 3D remote mechanism and for a technology that allows it to detect unauthorized use of your phone, according to Apple Insider.

Some patents are useful, unique, and truly innovative.

But there are other patents Apple seems to have filed out of habit.

We have compiled a list of what we think are the most far-fetched, ridiculous patents Apple has filed in its short history. Of course, we couldn’t ignore its rounded edges and rounded square icons patents.

Patent No.: D478,999 S

Patent Date: August 26, 2003

Apple has claimed a design patent for its glass staircase, which appears at a number of its stores from New York to Paris. This one struck as odd because it doesn’t relate to any of Apple’s innovative products – just its shiny retail locations.

Patent No.: D662,939 S

Patent Date: July 3, 2012

Yes, Apple patented the design of its in-store iPad stands — those plastic, seemingly uncomplicated things Apple tablets sit on at most stores.

Source: USPTOPatently

Patent No.: D596,485 S

Patent Date: July 21, 2009

Apple also patents the designs of its packaging — in this case, the original iPhone’s box is seen in its different divisions. Patenting the actual products isn’t enough for Apple apparently.

Patent No.: D604,305 S

Patent Date: Nov. 17, 2009

The so-called rounded square icons patent is one of the patents Apple sued Samsung over in their infamous legal battle. Apple claimed Samsung created an interface using icons that were too similarly shaped to its own.

Source: USPTO

Patent No.: D593,087 S

Patent Date: May 26, 2009

The rounded corners design for the device itself is another patent Apple used to defeat Samsung in their massive intellectual property battle in August. Apple claims it has the exclusive right to use these rounded corners and home buttons.

Source: USPTOBusiness Insider

Patent No.: 8,280,093

Patent Date: Oct. 2, 2012

Apple patented the removable rubber tip that mounts on its earphones. The tip is made from silicone, polyurethane, or thermoplastic, and doesn’t seem particularly groundbreaking to us.

Source: USPTO

Patent No.: D668,263 S

Patent Date: Oct. 2, 2012

This patent is for the design of the icon, which Apple uses for iTunes. To us, it just looks like a generic icon for music…

Source: USPTO

Patent No.: D577,990 S

Patent Date: Oct. 7, 2008

This patent is for the little clasp that keeps your headphone wires somewhat untangled. This looks like a pretty simple design, but apparently Apple wanted to make sure nobody else used it.

Source: USPTO

Patent No.: 7,874,021

Patent Date: January 25, 2011

Apple has patented this strange glove, which Patently has dubbed as the “magic” glove system. The glove is supposed to allow you to use your cell phone in cold weather. As the patent explains it, the glove has two layers — a liner and a shell — and the shell can be “peeled” back to expose the liner and operate the phone.

I Don’t Care If This Zombie Wedding Photo Isn’t Real, It’s Epic

The zombie craze over the past couple of years means there hasn’t been a shortage of wedding photos with undead themes.  Some couples go all out with make-up and post-apocalyptic locations. Josh and his wife just pretended to be zombie slayers under attack in their regular wedding attire, and then Josh manipulated the heck out of the photo to get the above image.

It’s rather spectacular. Don’t forget to click to enlarge.

If you want to see the Photoshop magic in action, check out the time lapse video after the break.

Sleep with a girl at a Japanese cafe for $80

We can always rely on Japan to bring a little bit of weird to our everyday lives, and they’ve just brought it to our daily coffee fix. The Soineya ‘co-sleeping specialty shop’ is allowing visitors to sleep with the girl of their dreams for around $80. And we mean, literally, sleeping. The cafe is located in Tokyo’s Akihabara district and aims to provide ‘the simple and ultimate comfort of sleeping together with someone’. Ohm, and if you were thinking of an extra shot or some flavored syrup in your coffee, you may as well splash out and get the lady to pat your head as you sleep as well.

Father Offers $65 Million Bounty to Any Man Who Can Woo and Marry His Lesbian Daughter

A father seeking suitors for his daughter’s hand in marriage is nothing new, but what makes this story a bit unusual is the bounty of $65 million a Hong Kong billionaire offered to anyone who can woo and marry his daughter. Oh, there’s a catch: she’s a lesbian.

Property and shipping tycoon Cecil Chao publicly promised the “marriage bounty” after reports emerged that his daughter had wed her long-term girlfriend.

Mr Chao, who has never married himself, told the BBC his daughter was still single and needed a “good husband”.

Same-sex unions are not recognised in Hong Kong, although homosexuality was decriminalised in 1991.

Gigi Chao, a businesswoman and graduate from the University of Manchester, is said to have married her female partner of seven years, Sean Eav, in a ceremony in France earlier this year.

But her flamboyant father rejected the claims as false, adding that his generous offer had already generated many replies from potential suitors.

Mansion with a Water Park in the Backyard

For sale, one large house near Boulder City, Nevada. It’s got 6 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms, and large living areas. Oh, and did we mention it has its own water park in the backyard?

Get It Away!: Far Too Realistic Looking Snake Cake

This is a waaaaaay too realistic looking albino snake cake from North Star Cakes in England. I was pretty sure it was Photoshopped at first, but there’s a bunch of closeups after the jump (including one of the thing actually cut up), and it’s definitely real. Now call me old fashioned, but I still like my cakes plain and round — not like something my first reaction to is to scream and poke with a broom handle. *ahem* I’m looking at you, Mom! (She made me a giant spider cake one year)

Hit the jump for a bunch more eshots, including one of the insides (SPOILER: no mice, thank God).

snake-cake-2.jpg

snake-cake-3.jpg

snake-cake-4.jpg

snake-cake-5.jpg

snake-cake-6.jpg

Thanks to Princess Yum Yum, who’s like the authority on deliciousness and says this is a no-go.

Stash Rings, Poison Rings That Secretly Hide a Viagra Pill

Stash Rings are poison rings made for men and women that secretly hide a single Viagra pill (as well as Levitra, Cialis or other similarly shaped meds). They are available to purchase in a variety of styles and come in 14k goldsterling silver and gold overlay ‘gag gifts’.

Poison Rings

Sterling Silver

Billionaire Rumored to Be Planning Real-Life Jurassic Park With Dino DNA

Clive Palmer wouldn’t be the first person to wish he could live in a James Cameron orSteven Spielberg flick long after the credits roll. As a billionaire businessman, however, he may be one of the few with the funds to actually make that dream a reality. The noted eccentric revealed earlier this year that he was working on a replica of the RMS Titanic, to set sail in 2016 as a floating casino, and now rumor has it he’s got his sights set on a real-life Jurassic Park.

How realistic his aspirations actually are, or whether the story’s even true, remains up for debate. But if Palmer didn’t have plans before, perhaps he should pursue them now that the idea’s been floated. Sure, it seems like a really extravagant way of courting death —  but again, this is the same guy who wanted a do-over on theTitanic. More details after the jump.

The Sunshine Coast Daily (via Nerd Approved) learned of the rumored Jurassic Park plans from a source “close to Mr. Palmer’s inner circle.” Palmer is reportedly “in deep discussion” with the same scientists who successfully cloned Dolly the sheep at the Roslin Institute in 1996, and they’re talking about the possibility of extracting dinosaur DNA to clone a dinosaur. If all goes well, the (alleged! Don’t sue us!) plan is to set up the attraction at his new Palmer Resort in Australia’s Coolum Beach.

For his part, Palmer denies any plan to bring dinosaurs to life. “It’s just a beat-up of a story and untrue,” he told the Gold Coast Bulletin. “There was never any verification, the journalist never spoke to me.” The Roslin Institute points out that cloning a dinosaur would be a tricky proposition because of it’d be difficult to find an appropriate surrogate to carry a baby dinosaur. Besides, whole dinosaur cells may not even exist — and, according to the Herald Sun, a cloning attempt would require over 100,000 whole dinosaur cells.

But Sushine Coast Daily editor Mark Furler stands by his newspaper’s original tale, noting that “Mr. Palmer has changed his tune several times on this project and the people of the Sunshine Coast wait with bated breath to see what the real plans are.” Moreover, he says, “a lot of those rumours are coming from Clive’s camp.”

Whichever side you believe, what’s clear is that it’ll be some time yet before we get to meet living, breathing dinos. Then again, considering how that worked out for everyone in Jurassic Park, perhaps that’s for the best. In the meantime, we can live out some considerably less dangerous movie fantasies with the real-life Wall-E.