Tag Archive | Humor

More Hilariously Frightened Faces From a Haunted House

Just in time for Halloween, we thought we’d show you a new round of hilariously frightened faces caught on camera at Nightmares Fear Factory in Niagara Falls, Canada (see the first round here). Though the attraction is open year-round, checking out these photos during this particular time of year makes them all the more enjoyable. Using a strobe light and a super-fast camera, an ingenious photographer had the idea of capturing people at their most terrifying state.

Compared to last year’s photos, there’s just as much eye-bulging as ever before and guys are still cowering behind their braver female counterparts. My favorite photos from this set have got to the last two, where visitors, already privy to the fact that they’re going to be on camera, strike a confident post. Like a true friend, the girl in the orange hoodie (second to last pic), has no doubt lured her friends into her well-thought out “trap.”

Now here are 21 of our favorites from the latter half of 2012.


If you just can’t get enough, you can see your fill of “fear pics”

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The Least Convincing Action Heroes in Movie History

Tyler Perry, Alex Cross

Say what you will about Perry’s limited skills as a writer/director (and they are mighty limited), you can’t begrudge the guy his versatility; he typically plays more than one role in his films, and does them fairly capably. If only he were working with better filmmakers than himself — and that doesn’t happen in Cross. Perry seems painfully ill-at-ease as the title character, in his pre-FBI Detroit cop days; he carries his shotgun as though he’s never seen one before, and his action scenes primarily showcase a series of weird facial tics that we’re to misinterpret as a tough-guy grimace. Meanwhile, his hand-to-hand fight scenes with Matthew Fox (chewing scenery as though it were coated with cinnamon sugar) are carefully shot and edited so that we seldom actually see Perry deliver a punch. His performance isn’t a total washout — he delivers on the big melodramatic beats in the second act. But then again, that’s what he’s comfortable doing.

We don’t know about you, but the first time we laid our eyes on Tyler Perry, decked out in his full Madea drag, our first thought was Yeah, ha ha, fine, but why isn’t that guy in a cop movie? Well, at last, our moment has arrived; tomorrow, theaters nationwide will welcome Alex Cross, a reboot of the James Patterson adaptations, with Mr. Perry taking over for Morgan Freeman. The idea of that actor match-up is sketchy enough, but with director Rob Cohen (the esteemed filmmaker behind xXxStealth, and the original Fast and the Furious) at the helm, Patterson’s brainy sleuth has been reimagined as a shotgun-wielding badass. Well, sorry, but we’re not buying it. After the jump, a closer look at Mr. Perry and a few other folks who we don’t quite buy as action heroes.

Chris Klein, Rollerball

Mr. Klein has been through a bit of a roller-coaster ride, fame-wise, but here’s the thing: if you had a major role in Election, you pretty much get a lifetime pass from us. (Don’t push your luck, though, Witherspoon.) That role — his first — pretty much set the boundaries for the kind of characters he could do convincingly: good-natured fellas who were a little on the dopey side. And while his characters in Election and the American Pie franchise were jocks, neither properly prepared audiences for the idea of Klein as a tough guy athlete pushed too far in John McTiernan’s unfortunate remake of Norman Jewison’s Rollerball. In the decade that followed that loud flop, he made other attempts to broaden his profile (including another action lead, in something called Street Fighter: The Legend of Chu-Li which we’re not even going to pretend to have seen) before finally giving up, as his “classmates” did, and cashing in on ’90s nostalgia with the unfortunate American Reunion.

Dennis Rodman, Double Team/Simon Sez

Here’s the thing about action movies in the ’90s: they’d put just about anybody in ‘em. The fact that a former bodybuilder became the biggest movie star in the land (in spite of his total lack of any acting ability — or reasonable diction — whatsoever) sent movie producers scurrying to all corners for the next Schwarzenegger, with wrestlers, footballers, and martial arts “stars” of all stripes getting a shot at silver screen stardom. And if you came with your own built-in notoriety, all the better — or at least, that’s the best explanation we can come up with for Dennis Rodman’s brief yet inexplicable stint as an action lead. Sure the guy had name recognition, and bad-boy rep that might draw curiosity viewers. But he was also a singularly wooden screen presence, mumbling his terrible dialogue and barely committing to the ridiculous events around him. Rodman did two action movies — Double Team with Jean-Claude Van Damme and Simon Sez, alongside the good ol’ Dane Cook — before going back to his full time job as cautionary tale and occasional punchline.

Shaquille O’Neal, Steel

So that thing about how they were giving anybody an action movie in the ’90s? Go ahead and use that to explain away that weird fever that gripped Hollywood somewhere around ’96-’97, when people decided Shaquille O’Neal was going to be a Movie Star. To be fair, he’s not half bad in his film debut, the 1994 Nick Nolte drama Blue Chips — but he’s also playing a hot young basketball star, and there’s an old saying about how everyone has at least one great performance in them (as themselves). But he followed it up with the mirthless, baffling “family movie” Kazaam — yes, the Shaq-is-a-genie movie — and then came Steel, starring Shaq as a military weapons designer (uh huh) who leaves the government on moral grounds (go on), only to discover street gang are using his weapons (sure), which prompts him to build a suit of armor and fight back (like you do). Unsurprisingly, Steel tanked (sorry), and O’Neal stuck to what he did best.

Pamela Anderson, Barb Wire

Barb Wire was supposed to be the big movie-star breakthrough for Pamela Anderson — or, as she was christened at the time, Pamela Anderson Lee. Adapted from Chris Warner’s comic book series, Barb Wire cast Lee as the title character, a tough-talking bounty hunter and bar owner with a specialty in going deep undercover as strippers and hookers. Oh, and she doesn’t like being called “babe.” The premise was probably doomed from the start — particularly since the film’s screenwriters decided to try to make it into some kind of a post-apocalyptic Casablanca, with Anderson in the Bogie role. Simply put, Anderson ain’t no Bogie; acting talent was never much used as an explanation for her stardom, but she’s particularly dreadful here, her performance all at the same dead pace and inflection. None of which would matter if she were some sort of ass-kicking action hero — but the “action” beats are so clunkily staged and poorly edited that there’s never a moment’s persuasion that bone-and-plastic Anderson is doing much in the way of real damage.

Martin Lawrence, Bad Boys I-II

When then-upstart director Michael Bay set his cast for the buddy cop movie Bad Boys, he took a risk: he was casting two comic actors in what were, ultimately, action roles. Sure, rapper-turned-sitcom-star Will Smith and standup-turned-sitcom-star Martin Lawrence had plenty ofLethal Weapon Lite repartee (if memory serves, there was a lot of discussion w/r/t one eating in the other’s car), but Bay was — foreshadowing! — ultimately more interested in chases and shoot-outs and explosions and running with guns than he was in character-based wisecracks. As far as his casting bet paying off, well, one outta two ain’t bad. While Smith smoothly slid into his action-hero skin, Lawrence’s serious beats played funnier than his comic ones. And that goes double for the ridiculous sequel, which placed him in the midst of even more overblown explosions and shoot-outs.

Jay Leno, Collision Course

Of course, there is something to be said for the idea that Lawrence was merely playing the “comic relief” half of the buddy-cop equation, as Eddie Murphy and Jim Belushi and Billy Crystal and Dan Aykroyd (Loose Cannons — look it up!) had before him. But those films treated their comic halves primarily as jokesters, and if they had badass moments — like Murphy’s trip to the country bar — you believed them. But some people just aren’t credible movie cops, and that brings us to your mom’s favorite late night TV host, Jay Leno. Yes, Leno was once considered a possible movie star, but his career in the moving pictures — as anything except himself, cracking a bad joke on a television to assure us that the film’s fictional events are “newsworthy” — started and ended with Collision Course. This 1989 “action/comedy” teamed Leno with Pat “Mr. Miyagi” Morita, as a pair of cops from different cultures, teamed up against their will, who initially hate each other, but (hang on, this gets cuh-razy) develop a begrudging respect and a real partnership. Can you imagine such a thing? Of course you can, but you won’t be able to take Leno seriously as a tough-guy sorta-racist cop.

Rudy Ray Moore, Dolemite/The Human Tornado

Last week, we sang the praises of our favoritest bad movie of all time evar, the immortal Disco Godfather. Its star, Rudy Ray Moore, was best known for his nightclub persona “Dolemite,” a trash-talking rhyme-master who influenced a generation of future rappers. But Disco Godfatherwas not his only claim to cinema immortality; he had earlier brought Dolemite to the screen, in the ultra-ultra-super-low budget (no, seriously, it looks like it cost about ten bucks) action/comedy that bore his name. In that film and its sequel The Human Tornado (as, as Moore calls it in the trailers, “The Human Tornada”), Moore decided to cash in on the kung-fu craze by making his alter ego a fierce fighting machine. Only problem was, Moore had never studied the martial arts — and, well, you can tell. Suffice it to say he’s a good deal more persuasive spouting couplets than he is throwing karate chops.

Daredevil Sets Record for the World’s Shortest Freefall

World’s highest freefall? Pfft. SO last week. Prepare for four inches of pure excitement!

For the Red Bull Stratos mission, Austrian skydiver Felix Baumgartner recently completed the world’s highest freefall, jumping some 24 miles from the edge of space back to Earth. Now, on Conan, daredevil Alex Brenner of Team Slim Jim has completed the world’s shortest freefall. Watch in this video clip as Brenner falls an entire four inches from the ground. Be sure to stay until the end for the exciting ‘helmet camera’ footage.

World's Shortest Freefall

The Apple vs Android Fanboy Wars In One GIF

Here’s a brief note intended for the fanboys who ruin technology for everyone else: Look, your war doesn’t make any sense, ok? This whole fanboys vs fandroids thing, the iPhone vs Galaxy, the iPad vs Kindle Fire… who the hell cares? They’re just machines.

And companies are not your friends. They are not here to make you happy. They won’t laugh with you at dinner. They won’t kiss you goodnight. They are just big corporations who want your money.

Corporations waging war upon each other and using you as peons to gain market domination.

Corporations who use underpaid worker drones living inside city-size factories far away to produce toys for you to buy, new shiny pieces of plastic and metal marginally better than the old plastic and metal crap.

And not only you are zombie brand worshipers buying into this whole vain spec race, but you’re also insulting and belittling everyone who doesn’t agree with your choice of phone or tablet or computer. Doing it safely behind a screen because, if you did that right on the face of someone, he or she would punch your face.

So, can you stop “defending” your choice of gadgetry like a insecure whiny cheerleader? Or a crazy religious fanatic? Don’t you see how ridiculous you look to normal people who don’t give a damn? How absurd your concerns are compared to, I don’t know, real life?

Or, if you have to justify your choice, could you at least please just think twice before insulting one another?

Because you just look bad when you do that. A tool. Just pick whatever you like best and stop trying to convince everyone that you made the right decision and that they are wrong. They are not. Nobody is. No more than you, anyway.

Carry on.

Dexter Morgan’s Laboratory, An Animated Mashup of Showtime’s Dexter and Cartoon Network’s Dexter’s Laboratory

There’s a new most dangerous cartoon in town. Move over, Archer.

The Screen Junkies have released a great animated mashup video titled Dexter Morgan’s Laboratory that merges the Showtime drama series Dexter with Cartoon Network‘s animated teleivision series Dexter’s Laboratory. The young boy-genius has now taken on the role of the serial killer Dexter Morgan who preys on bullies, instead of murderers.

The pilot episode for Showtime’s edgy new Saturday morning cartoon. If there’s one thing Dexter loves it’s science! If there’s a second thing, it’s blood.

Dexter Morgan's Laboratory

The 23 Best Celebrity Name Puns

Recently the Internet has been buzzing with a new meme trend – visual puns, usually poking fun at celebrities’ names. This all started back on September 8th, 2008 when someone uploaded a picture of Reese Witherspoon holding a spoon on the art message board b3ta. A picture next to it showed the actress with the spoon removed, and a caption that read “Reese Withoutaspoon”.

Then almost a year later another celebrity name went viral, this time it was a mirrored image of Kanye West, switching it to Kanye East. However, according to knowyourmeme the phenomena itself didn’t spread till 2012, when a Tumblr user i-am-oregonian posted a pun with Jafar from the 1992 Disney feature film Aladdin. The post received more than 65.000 notes from February till April.

Seeing more and more hilarious celebrity name puns popping up every day, we couldn’t resist making a list of the funniest ones out there. Did we miss anything?

 

Blow J0b by Tadao Cern in Leipzig

Remember one of the most impressive blow j0bs you’ve seen, a photo project by a Lithuanian photographer Tadao Cern? When his pictures of people facing a strong air current received so much attention worldwide, Tadao decided to take this idea abroad – luckily, that’s where New Yorker decided to step in and help organize the project in several cities. On 28-29 September, Tadao did this in Leipzig, Germany, and we’re excited to share his newest shots.

Tadao first introduced this idea to the public during Vilnius Design Week last May, when the visitors in his studio were placed in front of a leaf blower and photographed with their faces completely out of their own control. The series, combined with a very literal and thus witty name, went viral in only a few days. Tadao was featured not only in multiple online magazines, but also in various international newspapers. Looks like all people need in the end is something that makes them laugh uncontrollably!

Tadao doesn’t seem to be planning on stopping here, and if you’d like him to come to your city, suggest that on his website. In the meantime, the next scheduled destination is Oslo!

Dun-Na-Na-Na-Na Dun-Na-Na-Na-Na Batstache!

Don’t feel like putting together a whole Halloween costume this year? Then try growing out a sweet bat-stache like this one and just go as the guy with a bat-shaped mustache.

How To Poo At Work, A Helpful Guide For Going to The Toilet at Work

The 2011 Plume published How To Poo At Work book by authors Mats & Enzo is a humorous guide that provides you with the golden rules and knowledge for pooing in the workplace successfully (with the use of diagrams and different scenarios) when unexpected / awkward situations arise. Paperback copies of the 144 page guide are available to purchase at both Amazon and Fred Flare.

Don’t let number 2 stop you from being number 1 on the job.

Face the facts. You poop every day-more or less-but making a misstep when you’ve got to go at the office could land you in some serious doo-doo. How to Poo at Work is the ultimate guide to handling a range of potentially awkward situations, including what to do when:

-The boss is in the next stall
-The toilet gets clogged
-A colleague follows you into the bathroom
-There’s no toilet paper

Flush with useful diagrams, this handy book can save your career from going down the toilet.

How to Poo at Work, A book by Mats & Enzo

How to Poo at Work, A book by Mats & Enzo

How to Poo at Work, A book by Mats & Enzo

How to Poo at Work, A book by Mats & Enzo

Bollywood Jaws is EVERYTHING you want in life

Sometimes familiar Hollywood charactersmake the jump to Indian cinema — and occasionally they do so with a special effects budget that apparently consisted solely of old pistachio shells.

Such is the case with Aatank, a 1996 Bollywood film that’s earned a reputation for cribbing the vicious shark attacks of Steven Spielberg’s Jaws. But before we cast aspersions upon Aatank, we must ask, “Can this film stay afloat on its own merits?” This is a movie where a woman is consumed by a hungry shark in the middle of a song. What do you think?

Jesu and Peter are childhood friends who live in a coastal village in India and depend on fishing as their livelihood. The community is oppressed by a powerful gangster named Alphonso […] Peter meets with Suzy D’Silva and they fall in love with each other, and get married. While enjoying a quiet swim on the seashore, Suzy disappears. A search is carried out, and a number of human body parts are recovered. With shock and horror this community finds that their livelihood is being threatened by a gigantic, virtually undestructible man-eating shark.

Let’s start with the final scene above, in which action superstar Dharmendra tosses a harpoon through the villainous Alphonso and bisects the shark, Free Willy style. The shark — taking a cue from Jaws: The Revenge — frightens its prey by somehow screaming its lungs out. Just look at that chaos! But wait! Why is Dharmendra so irked at this monster?

Oh right, he ate that poor woman mid-warble — this goes down at 0:50 second mark. Sharks, they are The Gong Show of the animal kingdom.

There’s also this small matter of a child sliding into the beast’s mouth…

…and Dharmendra’s pal getting digested to boot. You can read a full synopsis of Aatankhere. For more toothy and toothsome fun, we have Japanese Jaws (who has no need for denouement), Turkish Jaws, and funkyJaws!