Today’s unfortunate sexbot breakthrough = a poster you can make out with

Oh, this is just downright dark. Researchers at Keio University have developed a sensing program that allows you to slobber on a digital two-dimensional image, which will react to your amorous advances. I suppose this what it’s like to get to first base with General Zod when he’s trapped in that Phantom Zone parallelogram. Explains one creator:

The current system only produces visual changes, but we could also include the scent of shampoo from the person’s hair, or a lemon-flavored film on the lips, or a speaker that whispers “I love you.” People who’ve tried this system advised us to do those things, so we think there’s still plenty to be done.

I have a suggestion — if you kiss this device, it blasts Van Halen’s “Can’t Stop Lovin’ You” at 180 decibels until you turn it off. Incidentally, this system can only be turned off by a three-story fall.